Longshot and Dazzler

In last week's X-Factor #35, oft-forgotten X-Man Longshot debuted in the title, apparently set to join the cast. As he had not been seen in several months (since the end of Exiles), a bit of exposition came forth in a conversation between him and Strong Guy. It was there that Longshot explained why he was no longer in a relationship with Dazzler (as they had last been seen) and commented that there was really nothing between the two of them - that the whole thing seemed forced. It was (in my eyes) a well-deserved comment on the part of Peter David on the longtime relationship between the two characters. I found it to be quite amusing.

The explanation is not exactly simple, and a history lesson of Longshot and Dazzler is forthcoming to help get you through it. You're welcome.

Longshot debuted in a cult-classic self-titled mini-series, and was quickly shoehorned into the X-Men in an annual that also featured the debut of the X-Babies (and that's all I'm saying about that one). He briefly vanished during the Mutant Massacre, only to show back up in its aftermath, in which he quickly became a member of the new team. An amusing trait of the character was his attractiveness to the opposite sex (mullet notwithstanding), and his naivity to the matter due to his nature. However, that was quickly abandoned in a suddenly developed relationship between him and his teammate Dazzler.

The Longshot relationship always puzzled me during the "Australian Era" of 80s X-Men. The dialogue would have you believe that there was a love-triangle going between him, Dazzler and Rogue, but this really never was touched upon in the stories themselves. Dazzler and Longshot were just sort of a couple until he left the team right after Inferno. All right, to be fair, they did get a bit physical at one point, but they were possessed by demons at the time.

It was sort of out-of-sight, out-of-mind once Longshot left the team, as Dazzler began hitting on Havok (chicks dig moody depressants, after all) and then got her mind wiped by a journey through the Siege Perilous. Wherever writer Chris Claremont was planning on taking either story (Longshot's departure and Dazzler's amnesia) didn't come to anything by the time he left the book. It was plotter Jim Lee and scripter John Byrne who actually finished the Longshot story, pulling in Dazzler and restoring her memories in the process. The battle left Longshot in charge of the Mojoverse, Dazzler pregnant, and the readers feeling that the relationship was much more than earlier stories had ever implied it to be. So they lived happily ever after.

Or not so much.

Turns out that a universe-ruling Longshot and an expecting Dazzler weren't too interesting. In fact, the few writers that did use either character often didn't use them together, with an obligatory reference to how the other one was doing just for fun. Dazzler was given an implied miscarriage by Fabian Nicieza just after the Age of Apocalypse and the two were sort-of broken up when Dazzler showed up to help the X-Men apparently unaware of where Longshot might be. She settled into random guest appearances here and there and he ended up in Limbo (the unused kind, not the demon kind).

Eventually, Longshot was brought into the Exiles, though he had no memories of his past life. This was a welcome attempt to get him back to the basics of his character that had become lost over the years of sort-of romances and universal uprisings. He stayed with the team until the title ended with a Chris Claremont written crossover between the Exiles and New Excalibur (of which Dazzler was a member) and almost all of the characters were shuffled so an all-Claremont-created team could relaunch Exiles. For Longshot, this meant heading back to Earth with Dazzler in an effort to rekindle their romance. So they lived happily ever after.

Or not so much.

Turns out the Longshot/Dazzler coupling is still not interesting, and really hasn't ever been. The effort to put them back together after all of their convoluted non-use felt like a forced issue. They were together in X-Men, they should be together now. That's exactly how it was presented in Longshot's X-Factor appearance when he flat out said it felt more and more awkward trying to make it work when it really didn't. So finally, Dazzler and Longshot have both returned as usable characters in the X-World. Let's just hope they stay away from each other this time.

Recipe for suck: add comic characters to FPS game

I spotted this baby on the Playstation Blog today:

For those of you too lazy to click the link, the news is that this new game is going to be released exclusively for the PSN - all you X-Box Live users can suck it.

Actually, no not really. The game is an arena-based multi-player first person shooter using the engine of whichever Unreal Tournament game came out last. That means you connect to a server, you show up in a room, you kill other players. No story necessary.

Now, I am aware that there is a dedicated fanbase for FPS games like this one, but if history teaches us anything, changing the rather colorful cast of storyless characters that can be blown up repeatedly into comic-based ones doesn't really work. Comics are illustrated stories. When you create a game, you need to have some kind of story there.

So what's the history that teaches us this? Many moons ago, there was a Quake II conversion that featured the X-Men...except your mission was to go around blowing up the X-Men. The game didn't go over to well and can actually be downloaded for free at numerous sites, provided you have a working copy of Quake II.

Will I be buying this? No sir, I don't think so. It just seems lazy to me.

Heroes Recap - Volume 3: Chapters 1 and 2

Each week, Comicdom Wrecks! (whose staff consists of three Heroes-loving nerds) will be recaping the most recent episode of Heroes. Lost somewhere in the season? Forgot something that's taken place? Check the Recaps to find what you may have missed.

HEAVY SPOILER ALERT!

9/23/09 - Volume 3: Chapters 1 & 2 (The Second Coming, The Butterfly Effect)

Wrapping Up – Who Shot Nathan?
Most of the themes of this arc are set up immediately with the answer to who shot Nathan in last season’s finale. Peter (the scarred one from the future) travels back in time to stop Nathan from announcing the existence of superhuman powers to the world, thereby preventing his timeline. The problem is that the longer he stays in the past to make sure the job has been completed, the more of what was supposed to happen is disrupted.

Story 1 – Villains Escape (Peter, Angela, Sylar, HRG, Claire)
Claire gets a visit from Sylar who cuts her head open and studies her brain, gaining her healing. When she heals from the attack, she can no longer feel pain, which she begins to associate with the loss of her soul. While with Claire, Sylar finds a file on Level 5 of Primatech, which houses some of the most dangerous prisoners ever dealt with by the company. He kills Bob, gaining his transmutation, but is confronted by Elle and HRG, both of whom he quickly dispatches. As he tries to cut open Elle’s head, she instinctively unleashes a torrent of electricity that shorts out the building’s security and sets the prisoners free. Unbeknownst to them, one of them is possessed by Peter, whom his future alter-ego locked within the mind of a prisoner. Angela, now in charge of the company with Bob’s death, fires Elle and warns the future version of her son that he had better get to fixing this mess he made. Sylar, who was knocked out by Elle’s attack, is held prisoner in a Level 5 cell. At the Bennet house, HRG prepares to go after the escaped prisoners, and leaves Claire in the care of her birth mother. The escaped villains, unknowingly joined by Peter, kill two people and escape in their car.

Story 2 – Hiro’s Formula (Hiro, Ando)
Bored out of his mind after becoming majority owner of his father’s company, Hiro is excited to receive a video recorded by his father before his death. The video tells of half a formula locked away that could possibly destroy the world. As soon as Hiro opens the safe, the formula is stolen by Daphne, a speedster who is not completely subject to Hiro’s abilities. Unwilling to travel back in time, Hiro travels forward to discover what the formula could possibly do, but witnesses his own death at the hands of Ando, who seemingly possesses lightning powers. As Tokyo explodes, Hiro returns to the present, doubtful of Ando and determined to get his formula back. A private investigator discovers the name and address of the crook. Hiro and Ando travel to France and set a trap for Daphne, allowing Hiro to plant a tracer on her. They follow her path, planning to get the other half of the formula before she can.

Story 3 – Nathan in Congress (Nathan, Linderman, Tracy)
Doctors rush to save Nathan’s life, but are ultimately unsuccessful. As Peter looks over his brother’s body, his wounds heal and he regains consciousness. As he convalesces, he is visited by Mr. Linderman, who begins telling him of what he is capable of. Nathan travels to the hospital chapel, and before news cameras, gives a monologue about how he has been blessed by God, no longer willing to reveal his secret. This change of heart prevents Peter (future) from shooting him again. The news coverage brings Nathan to the attention of the governor of New York Robert Malden, whose assistant Tracy recommends that Nathan be appointed as the replacement for the recently deceased senator from New York. When Tracy visits Nathan, he mistakes her for Niki Sanders and is skeptical of the offer, but eventually accepts it under the advice of Linderman, as long as Tracy serves on his staff. Tracy herself is confronted by a reporter who accuses her of being Niki Sanders, and even produces hotel security footage of Niki and Nathan together during Nathan’s campaign. As Tracy lays a hand on the reporter, his entire body freezes and shatters, causing her to run in fear.

Story 4 – Parkman in the Desert (Parkman)
Parkman finds Peter in a storage closet, apparently searching for the gun that was used to shoot Nathan. When he questions Peter about it, unaware that he is actually a version of Peter from the future, Peter transports Parkman to Africa and leaves him stranded there. After walking for some time, Parkman collapses. He is visited by a large turtle, who points him to a water-enriched root. As he thanks the turtle, he is found by a man who knows his identity, but is unnerved that the transpiring events are not how he painted them.

Story 5 – Suresh’s Formula (Suresh, Maya)
Having sent Molly to a secret location to keep her safe, Suresh begins working with Maya on locating the source of the superhuman abilities. When she tells him that her powers manifest when she becomes upset and fade when she calms, he succeeds in creating a formula that theoretically can manifest powers in any human. She tells him that it should be destroyed, but instead he injects himself with it and manifests heightened strength, speed and other senses. He becomes uncharacteristically aggressive and sleeps with Maya, before waking up to find that a piece of his shoulder seems to be peeling off.

Extras
Knocking out the future – Peter’s presence disrupts key events in the future:

• When Claire calls wanting to help, he tells her to stay put, leaving her home alone when Sylar comes knocking.
• Sylar’s presence in the house gives him access to the Level 5 file, which sends him in that direction and leads to the villains’ escape.
• Sylar’s attack leaves Claire unable to feel pain, which has her questioning her humanity.
• Nathan’s wounds lead to his spiritual revelation, which gains him the attention that leads to his nomination.
• Parkman is sent to Africa, where he is told he is not supposed to be.
• The Peter of the present is locked in the mind of one of the Level 5 inmates when they escape.

Debuts

• Tracy Strauss (Ali Larter) – Advisor to Governor Malden, she is seemingly identical to Niki Sanders, though she apparently does not know the woman. Seemingly possesses freezing abilities.
• Daphne Millbrook (Brea Grant) – Speedster and master thief, her stealing of Hiro’s formula has made her his declared nemesis.
• Flint (Blake Shields) – A prisoner of Level 5 possessing pyrokinesis.
• Jesse Murphy (Francis Capra) – A prisoner of Level 5 possessing sound manipulation abilities. The host body of Peter Petrelli.
• The German (Ken Lally) – A prisoner of Level 5 possessing magnetism manipulation.
• Knox (Jamie Hector) – A prisoner of Level 5 possessing fear-based powers.
• Robert Malden (Bruce Boxleitner) – Governor of New York looking to fill a vacated Senate chair.
• Usutu (N’Tare Mwine) – An African man who discovers Parkman in the desert. Apparently possesses the ability of precognition, represented through paintings (perhaps like Isaac Mendez).

Deaths

• Bob Bishop (Stephen Tobolowsky) – killed by Sylar for his abilities.

Revelations

• Angela Petrelli’s power is revealed to be precognitive dreaming. This was hinted at in the first season, as Peter first began envisioning his and his brother’s powers in dreams.
• With Bob’s death, the only surviving founders of the Company are Angela Petrelli, Maury Parkman and Adam Monroe.
• Sylar has gained the abilities of healing and transmutation.

Value to whom, exactly?

I have always been a follower of the belief that something is only worth as much as someone is willing to pay for it. So while watching a video about the San Diego Comic Con, I was puzzled by an old Flash comic, graded (and therefore sealed) of course, going for $65,000. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for a comic they can't even read? Just to sell it to someone else?

I will never buy a graded comic, and will never send my out for the treatment. I just don't get it - like people who won't take Transformers out of the box.

Millar to launch Ultimate Avengers, making Ultimates as useless as it is bad

Next year, Marvel will be launching a new title - Ultimate Avengers - written by Mark Millar who is credited by many to be pretty much the co-father of the Ultimate universe, with Brian Bendis (think My Two Dads). According to Millar in a CBR interview, the new title will be six issue stories in which Nick Fury gathers heroes to fight threats to the Ultimate universe.

Now I know what you're thinking - isn't there already an Ultimate Avengers of sorts in The Ultimates? Why yes, yes there is. But don't worry about that book - it's terrible and it looks to remain terrible for the near future.

I find it...intriguing that Marvel would bring back Millar and put him on a book whose concept is so much like an existing title...when that book seems to be losing the direction that originally made it such a hit. I, for one, am excited. After all, I dropped Ultimates 3 after three issues. I would love to get Millar back to the Ultimate U.

Watchmen Movie Troubles

Here is a good article from the New York times about the legal battle between Fox and Warner Bros. over the rights Watchmen.

From the Box: The X-Cutioner's Song

After great effort (and a lot of help from the Marvel Chronology Project) I put together a reading order of my archive of X-Men back issues and got to reading, starting at the 1991 launch of the second X-Men book (now called X-Men: Legacy). Not too far in, I came upon the 12-part, 4-title crossover, the X-Cutioner's Song. I've had the trade paperback of this for a while, but it always seemed to convoluted to really get into - but as I didn't want to read only half of the story, I dusted it off and got to it.


It was a laborious read, I'll have you know. To get into, you need to have some knowledge about past X-Force/New Mutants history as well as X-Factor knowledge. The basics are thus:

• Stryfe, who leads a bunch of generic villains known as the Mutant Liberation Front, looks exactly like X-Force leader Cable when not wearing his helmet.
• Apocalypse has two (rather redundant) groups of followers: the Four Horsemen and the Dark Riders. Neither should be in action without Apocalypse, who has been MIA since a battle with the original X-Factor.
• Mr. Sinister has a thing for Scott Summers and his juicy DNA (ewwww).
• The New Mutants left the X-Mansion to become X-Force, and none of the X-Teams particularly enjoy that.
• No one has much love for Cable.
• Cyclops was forced to send his son into the future after the baby was infected (by Apocalypse) with the techno-organic virus.

Once you have that down, we can get underway. Apparently, Cable shoots Professor X at a Lila Cheney concert, the Dark Riders (not working for Mr. Sinister instead of Apocalypse) kidnap Cyclops and Jean Grey, who are then traded to Stryfe for Summers DNA, which is a ruse - the container actually unleashes the Legacy Virus. The X-Men and X-Factor go after X-Force to get Cable, jail them, go around fighting for a while, then end up on the moon when Stryfe and Cable duke it out until Cyclops detonates a time portal. Ending comes, la la la. Oh yeah, Stryfe is apparently Cyclops' son who happens to be a little bitter about what happened to him. You can understand that, right?

The story, while about four parts too long, wasn't anything terrible. It got all the teams together, tied up a couple loose plot threads (for a while) and put a lot of focus on Wolverine, Cable and Bishop - the overly popular characters in the huge muscles, huge guns era of the early 90s. Looking back, with over 15 years having passed between then and now, the story doesn't really hold up too well.

• Down the line, someone decided the son should be the good guy, so it was revealed that Cable was actually Cyclops' son, not Stryfe.
• The crossover was a prominent reason that Peter David left X-Factor. The book would continue on with sub-par storylines for years, then sink into drivel before being retooled into the even worse Mutant X.
• Shortly therafter, a character was introduced actually called the X-Cutioner (a name so ridiculous, you'd think they went back in time to the Silver Age to make it) that had absolutely nothing to do with this story. Later readers would be confused by the two.
• Apocalypse had yet another death scene, this time in front of Archangel. That would have meant something had he not been revived when someone else needed a benevolent villain to stand around and holler nonsense.
• The story's epilogue released the Legacy Virus, which was a really big deal at first with characters worrying about the quickly-spreading disease infecting "hundreds" of mutants, and killing off big names like Magik, Mastermind and...uh...Revanche. Eventually, the Legacy Virus hit the background when (I suppose) creators didn't want to kill off major characters for the hell of it and the "hundreds" turned out to mostly be Genoshan mutates. No one seemed to notice when Moira MacTaggert and Pyro held on for years with the disease when everyone else died in like five days. Eventually, the virus was done away with at the cost of Colossus.

And thus you have the legacy of the X-Cutioner's Song. If you're aching to dive in, check out the trade. Actually, I managed to find all twelve individual issues for 50 cents each in a bargain bin, some even in the original bag complete with card! How X-Citing!

Origins can be good

Back in April, .I complained about the solicitation of an X-Men: Origins one-shot starring Colossus. I felt there was simply no reason to expand a character like Colossus' origin to anything that would warrant it's own one-shot. I didn't buy the book, but reviews I read (such as this one from Paul O'Brien's X-Axis) pretty much summed up my thoughts on it: nothing unreadable, but pretty much unnecessary.

However, when I saw a solicitation for another X-Men: Origins book starring Jean Grey, I was more intrigued. Jean Grey was (as she's still dead) a character with a pretty interesting back story before she got to the X-Men. For those of you not in the know, when Jean Grey debuted in X-Men #1 back in 1963, her lone power was telekinesis. Over time, she was given telepathy and a back story was provided to explain why she had not used them the whole time: while still a child, her best friend was hit by a car. Jean telepathically connected with her as she died, which mentally scarred her. Professor X was called in to help heal the damage, and he blocked off her telepathic powers until she was ready for them.

The Origins issue is a retelling of that story with a heavier focus on what Xavier actually did, and it's excellent work. The writing works and the painted art is gorgeous. It shows that you don't have to add new events to an origin for an issue like this. Just expand on what's already been established to allow readers to get a better grip on the character.

There's another one coming out soon for Beast, so let's hope that quality too.